Reminiscing on longing and BElonging
Keep longing for the unknown until you know. Again. And again.
A little girl let the wind swing her body back and forth, while staring into the unknown. Her parents watched from a little distance. ‘What is she doing?’ one of the parents wondered. ‘Longing.’ said the other. Their little girl was longing to spread out her wings. To go out of the safety of what was known and explore what was still the unknown.
Do you remember when you first spread out your wings?
I am four years old and stand in the backyard looking at my father. Sitting on a bench he fixes a bicycle. My first bicycle. It is red. I watch as he carefully lowers the saddle and tightens the screw firmly. Next he places two side wheels to support the back wheel.
Next my father lifts the bicycle in the air and starts walking via the back ally leading to the street. I have to run to keep up. With each step I feel the pebbles pushes agains the thin soles of my sandals. I keep running anyway. Until my father stops at the corner of the street and puts down the bicycle.
Eagerly I grab the handlebars. My feet barely touch the pavement. Immediately my body starts to wobble but the side wheels keep me steady. Then I hear his deep voice whisper from behind ‘Go!’ accompanied with a firm push. Off I go to follow my longing to explore the unknown.
My personal diaries are evidence of the longing there was in me from an early age on. And it never stopped. Almost two years ago I shared similar thoughts on how learning to write set the foundation of shaping my identity. Reading it back I laughed as I realised that I was bursting with longing to share my thoughts on finding back my writing style. I needed so many words and wrote long sentences. Perhaps I am still the only one who truly understands what I tried to write! And yet, if you read carefully my writings, in between the lines you may recognize the main theme of my life.
I guess I have been longing all my life to understand the concept of longing to BElong. Everything I have written online and offline all my thoughts and perceptions go into this direction of understanding BElonging. Where do I BElong? Why do I long for BElonging? With a sence of pride as to acknowledge this journey for BElonging, I keep writing.
What are you longing for?
Go and figure it out.
Sit on a bench and let the people passing by inspire you.
Seek the quietness and wisdom of the forest.
Let the seawind blow away all blocking thoughts and worries. Until you feel again what you are longing for.
If you are, like me, into writing, do not keep your thoughts in your head. Trust your longing to a piece of paper. As author Toon Tellegen explains:
‘If you want to write something that will help someone, you have to come up with something that you don’t understand yourself. Only then will the one who reads it always remember it.'