New year, new perspectives
When I stopped making new years’ resolutions I learnt two valuable lessons.
After Christmas there are those few ’in between days’ until New Years day. I believe we all have our own ‘end of the year’ rituals. Perhaps you had to work. Perhaps you are someone who frantically cleaned the house. Or just spent a whole afternoon on the couch reading a book. As for me, I always liked to just contemplate over the past year.
I think my ritual of contemplating on the past year, derives from my childhood. On New Years eve at around 11.45 pm we sat down and listened as psalm 90 was read to us. As a teenager I did not really pay attention and was restlessly waiting for it to be over, so my brother and I could go outside and light the fireworks.
Until one year my brain woke up on hearing verse 12:
‘Teach us to number our days, so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.’
You do not have to be a believer to try and understand what these words mean. Let me invite you to my thoughts.
Imagine yourself standing at the threshold of a building. You look back and memories from the past year come by. Now hold on to those images and slowly turn your head. In that shifting motion what has been, mixes with what is to come.
And that is when it becomes interesting!
That is when your mind goes into overtime.
What is the next big thing I want to accomplish?
Which goals do I need to set?
Stop setting goals!
Yes, you read it correctly. I have become an anti goal setter. And I had a good laugh reading back what I wrote on 31st December 2024. I think I am not doing too bad!
Living with an acquired disability I am slowly learning that in order to number my days I need to stop setting goals. Something I have done as far as I can remember. Formulating personal and work related goals or making serious new year's resolutions that I shared with everyone. By doing so it meant you had to stick to them as everyone was keeping an eye as to how you were getting on.
My whole year evolved around achieving those goals. By doing that I forgot to stand still and look around. And when I reached that mountain top, of course it gave me an adrenaline rush. But I did not always take time to enjoy the view cause the next mountain had to be climbed. The next goal in line was waiting to be conquered.
And when I did not manage to reach the top, it only made me angry and frustrated. I remember someone telling me I should be looking at goals ‘more flexible.’ I smiled but from the inside I held on to that feeling of having failed, yet again.
Does it mean I will never formulate goals anymore? No, for 2025 I have decided on a framework of ideas of what I want in the coming year is sufficient for me. I hope to share about this journey the coming year. Putting a framework of ideas into a practical reality I need a tool. That is:
Keep looking for and from new perspectives
Last week I was lying on the couch in my mother’s living room and listened as she spoke:
'When I wake up my first thought is: I'm still alive, so let's make something of it today. I don't think about tomorrow because I might not be here anymore.'
Before I could respond she continued:
‘There are two butterflies living with me.’
’Sometimes they hang there together’ she explained while pointing towards the far right edge of the dark green suede curtain, that had been hanging there since my childhood.
‘There is a big and a small one. They resemble each other. From the inside they are pitch dark. From the outside bright orange with some black dots in between.’
At that moment I saw the butterfly! No, not the one my mother was telling me about. On the lampshade next to where my mother was sitting. Never had I noticed it before. Since I can remember that lamp had always stood in that corner. How come I had never noticed the butterfly decoration before?!
Because I never took the time to stand still and look beyond the functionality. Now I was able to see the butterfly that had been there all those years. So:
On the threshold of the new year I stand with gratitude and count each blessed days.
On the threshold of the new year I stand with my restlessness and some grief for what is not.
On the threshold of the new year I stand in connection with those who are dear to me. We look at each other in silence and nod with a smile on our faces.
On the threshold of the new year I decide to keep looking for and from new perspectives.
I wish the same for you!