Do you dare to share your story publicly?
Sometimes it is good to stop and just listen to other people's stories. It helps to write your own.
The days in May went by, like I was living in a never ending dream. My mind was occupied with so many things that I could not get myself into my writing flow. I tried the usual tricks like taking one word from my word jar and just started writing anything that pops out of my thoughts. Reading my own words from almost two years ago ‘how to stay a motivated writer’ left me feeling shameful.
‘What happened to my inner writing drive that got me through the winter period?’ I wondered.
This morning I woke up with a fuzzy head, jumped under a cold shower that woke me up instantly and decided:
Today is the day I start writing again.
I opened my Ipad. Reading through my personal journal a leap of joy went through my heart. I knew right away what to write.
Last week I had the privilege to spend a few days at a conference with likeminded people. Prior to the conference I had written to one of the organizers that I would be happy to volunteer. My offer to help was kindly declined. As it would be my first time, it was best to just come and experience the conference. The email left me feeling sad and rejected.
You can imagine I was a bit hesitant to go. On the first evening I found out who had written to me. Radiating a contagious cheerfulness, slowly he walked with his walker towards the dining hall. I was devastated. Like me, this person was living with a disability.
I knew I needed to listen to his story
Little did I then know how big of an impact it would have on my writer's block.
The next evening I saw him sit behind a table with a pile of books on it. He smiled and invited me to take a look. On the cover it read ‘Bad News, Good Moments.’ I sat down next to him. He talked and I listened:
‘ My illness has only brought me profit. From the day I got diagnosed I approach each day with great optimism. And then there was my story. I just sat down, started writing with this as a result.’ while gently stroking one of his books.
My eyes filled with tears and I must have looked puzzled at the same time.
‘Anni, you have good moments too. Every day.’ I heard him say. His words opened up my heart. They enabled me to share my own story, health struggles, desire to write my book and the varying energy to be able to write. There was one clear piece of advice: Write!
In response I whispered: ‘We got off on the wrong foot. I believe I have found a new friend. Thank you!’
Note from my new friend Pauli:
What you have written, you are free to publish on my behalf. I have no reason to prevent you. On the contrary, I want to encourage you to bring your texts forward for others to read. You have the desire and skill to express your thoughts. Don't hide them under self-criticism.