Do you know in which language you dream?
How my green coated angel explained it to me in plain English. And what dreaming in a non-native language actually means.
Bilingualism at its core
The day before I travel you do not want to be around me. Especially when an airplane is my means of transport. I am restless and irritated. My thoughts are tumbling in a mix of Finnish and English. Then when I start to think about my sad reasons of having to travel, Dutch and Hungarian sentences creep into my head.
I need to go for a walk
When I get to the bay a cottony mist hides the otherwise beautiful sight of the sea. A freezing cold wind makes my cheeks hurt right away. The path towards the shore is slippery. To get at least a bit closer, I try to make my way through an icy surface and patches of swampy grass. After ten steps I realize this is not such a good idea. I will have to wait a few more weeks to get to my favorite spot. For a moment I kneel down to feel the cold, swampy grass with my barren fingers. It feels cold and soft. I am amazed by the color and resilience, despite the fact it was covered since november under a thick layer of snow and ice since.
Then I look up and see it, right in front of me. An arrow shaped in the half frozen land. The sign of every traveler or pilgrim. The knowledge that no matter what, there is always a way forward. Even though it does not always feels like that. For a moment I stand and let the warm gratitude flow through my chest. Then it is time to head back.
As I cross the road a woman catches my attention
Supported by a walking stick in her left hand while pulling a shopping carrier in the other, she slowly approaches me. About ten meters apart, the woman suddenly lifts her walking stick, points towards my direction and shouts:
‘Onko tie sinne liukas?’
‘Liukas? What did that mean again?’ I ask myself quickly.
‘Slippery, she means slippery!’
In broken Finnish I answer and point to the one slippery patch on the corner.
When we pass each other she stops. From underneath her blue fleece hat, that is tightly secured by her green coat hood, she looks at me with sparkling eyes. I nod, briefly smile and intend to walk on. To my surprise the woman starts to talk. In English.
‘Yes, I have not been there for some time so I don’t know how the road is.’
‘It is a bit slippery on the corner but otherwise it is fine.’ I repeat in English.
’Thank you. I have Parkinson so I have to walk solid. ‘
‘Then walking is good.’
’Yes, but I always cycled but now I cannot anymore. No balance.'
Again I attempt to resume my way. Taking no notice the woman continues.
In broken English she tells me her life story. How she studied chemistry, physics and maths. In the years to follow it never occurred to her to learn English.
’Now I am eightythree years old and I am learning. Who knows how long I live. I have a dream in English now! This morning I wake up and have to look up in the dictionary an English word. I do not know what it means! Is that good or not good?!’
A burst of laughter follows and a join her. For I realize that I have experienced the same lately as well.
Later I would find out about a research done in the 1990’s. When you dream in the language you are learning, it shows the level of progress you made and your brain actually starts to internalize it.
Looking back I do not know why but bluntly I then ask:
‘Do you believe in heaven?’
My unexpected question silences her. For a moment I doubt whether she understood it. Pointing towards the sky I repeat the question. Shrugging her shoulders she answers in a devoted voice:
‘I know, I know, I understand you. Heaven. Yes, heaven. We are with eight sisters and brothers. One brother died. He was seventy years old, went to a sauna and died there. Heart attack. Maybe I am next?’ Yes, heaven. I do not believe it, but I have the hope there is.’
Her last sentence touches me deeply. When faith disappears then hope remains. ‘Is that not enough?’ I wonder.
‘Now I must go on. I still can. Thank you for practicing my English with you.’
With tears in my eyes I watch as my green angel slowly walks towards her destination.